Newest piece I wrote -- 2nd draft with help from my wife Lanna.
This one is being critiqued on my last class of my creative writing class at MECA which I really enjoyed.
Here it is.
Jim first said he loved me in March, I loved him too, and could see it in his sweet heart, he mentioned how much he loved late April in the Sierras. That he had a week off to see the high waters of Kings Canyon and how much he would love if I went. I was used to big trips with my exes to the big cities I grew to love New York, Tokyo, London, Paris or even just wine country around the corner.
Backpacking? Carrying everything on my back? Being in nature, being with bears, being away from good restaurants, martinis, wine, the woods, really? Look at the prices of this stuff $200 for a little tent, and all of this equipment to be superlight, water filters, dehydrated food. With all of this money we could eat our way through Italy, have fresh Sushi in Japan, and he wants to be alone in the woods with bears, and wolves and scary things?
I love him. I love him. He’s awesome, he’s a catch. I love him.
Its done. The week is off from work. Jim has packed all of our bags, the bags that will carry all our stuff, all of it. No car, no fancy resteraunts, just what we bring on our back. I am scared. I am petrified. I am just smiling and saying how much I am looking forward to this. A week. A week in the woods. A week with nature.
I am used to seeing in the high corn of Iowa. Not the mountains, not the Sierra, not the deep woods. A week. A week with nature. This pack is heavy. We are starting at 5,000 feet. Really heavy. He wants to go up to the ridges, we are going to be away from all our stuff for a week. Everything about my city, all of my creature comforts, my warm bed, nice comforter, nice kitty. Will have to wash clothes in streams, will be sweaty, gross. No hot showers. Goody!
Then we get there. It’s beautiful. I have never seen Jim so happy. He’s beaming, only time I have seen him this happy is after sex. But he’s just giddy. Maybe I will like this, maybe I will. Especially after we set up camp and get rid of most of the stuff. But going up, up, up into the mountains terrifies me.
So I get the pack on. I put in on in the apartment and it was too heavy so Jim took stuff out. I even wore backpacks to work to get used to it, but it was heavy and huge and $350 – I could have bought a nice dress with that. But it fit me – and it was even pink. And then I tried to carry Jim’s packup. I didn’t weigh 30 pounds – more like 100. This made me happy, this made me smile, this made me kiss him.
“What was that about,” Jim wondered.
“Oh this feels lighter now that I tried to carry your bag, I love you.”
So they went up, the sky was blue, it was cool, and still only 8am. I still can’t believe we left the city at 4am to get here. I forgot there was a 4am.
So they went up, and up. New hiking boots, only taking only little romps through local parks. Need to break them in, he said. And least he knew to bring some nice win on these little adventures. Couldn’t bring too much of that up here. Just a little vodka and some Kool-aid, weight you know.
After a mile, the bag was heavy, and Jim said, “Its only a mile further up to camp, lets set up a camp pretty low, we don’t need to put on a bunch of miles today, lets get used to the altitude.”
I needed to rest. So I just did. “Hold on, Jim, let me stretch out my back, and get a drink.” It was pretty here, she still had some non-filtered water, and still can’t believe there was a shovel for a restroom up here. I love him, I love him, He’s a catch, I love him.
And we kept climbing, and set up tent. I was tired, but it was beautiful, he was beautiful. He was doing the work, he was setting up the tent. He was carrying the bear boxes, with our food, he was cleaning. We had a stream, there was a place to wash, it was beautiful, he was beautiful with his shirt off. I love him, I kissed him, I think I want to marry him.
We made camp, made a tent, made love, in the woods with just the sound of nature. I loved it, I love him, I think I am going to like it up here.